Sigh, not this feeling again. I’m so tired of all this.
It all comes back full cycle. But I can’t blame everything on it. Partly I should be more hardworking and reduce my backlog.. but I just feel tired lately, I’m not motivated to work harder and finish my backlog.
I wanna take a holiday on my bday so no one can wish me happy birthday and remind me I’m turning 28 and yet still not married? Should I give up my dreams? I give myself pep talks “Come on, you can do it!” .. but what can I do .. hmm?
I understand tho.
And in some ways I dont understand .. or I just dont want to understand because I don’t want to give up my dreams…
I am thinking about life right now.
Where am I. Am I happy. Is this what I want. Wat do I want more.
I wish I had wings so I could fly away to everywhere.. see how people live their lives so I could appreciate mine, fly to the busiest city, to the poorest town, the quiet suburb and hectic metropolis and find another vision, another life, another purpose I can walk towards ….. and leave my dreams behind..
For now, I have to smile with unshed tears in my eyes.