Posted by
lisadragon – July 6, 2010
For a personal blog, Murosaki doesnt feel like a personal blog anymore. I keep telling you all (and myself) that I’d write more. But I’ve been too worried, if I write too much of the normal daily stuff, wouldn’t you all be bored to death? Like “today I did this, and had that and read this.” Well, its all about how people write about it. I love how Maurina writes as well as Jan Shim, who is also a photographer like myself (but way better in expressing himself through photos AND words) .. unfortunately I dont have the talent to write creatively (or maybe lazy.. haha). Hence why my entries are sporadic.
But the reason why I started a blog in the first place was for ME. Not to please readers, but to please me, so I could look back and read about my days and remember about my days, no matter how boring it was. I wanted to re-read about what I was doing 2-3 years ago, remember that book I read or a movie I watched.
So yes, here comes the “dear diary” entry (after the cut) XD
More…
Posted by
lisadragon – June 28, 2010
Mickey is a fatso
I so need a holiday! Not to sound whiny (well I am actually) but all the juggling roles makes me tired tired tired everyday all the time until I just want to lie on my bed, where I’d usually read but no, I dont even want to *think*, let alone read.
This is destructive. I have to stop trying to be everyone / every role , doing everything and just concentrate / focus on something.
Posted by
lisadragon – June 25, 2010
I can’t believe it!! The team I’m supporting, been supporting since I know about World Cup (definitely after Maktab Sains days) .. is out of the world cup in the first stage! Hello Champions 2006.. what happened?? Sigh.
I’m determined not to let that bring me down, so had Adik helped me to take photos. Late morning light was pretty nice!. Too lazy to set up the tripod/timer/retaking again and again business today.
Its a preview of what’s to come in my flickr. Stay tuned 
Posted by
lisadragon – November 19, 2009
I’m talking about cuti (leave). Last year I applied for leave around December but I was told I was too late, too many officers have taken leave already. Ok fine. I asked for March and went to Temburong with my brother (his first time to Belalong and Canopy Walk). Its nice to do so, doing your own Kenali Negara Kitani. 
My subsequent leaves were really really difficult to get as well. Its like a chicken – egg situation. Hey, work harder and I reward u with leave. Or Hey I need rest so I can clear my head and then I can work harder. Why am I not even entitled to my own MANDATORY LEAVE????? It was due to expire in April and 1 week before it expires I get my leave approved. Thanks, that’s actually 1 week Cuti Tahunan and not Mandatory… I have lost 1 week of my Cuti Tahunan instead. 
And now, for December I applied really early, like August, cos we needed to get tickets early. Duh, like you’ve never travelled before.. tickets could be sold out if I had waited til the normal 1 month before taking leave procedure. I waited and waited. When queried, I was told its still too early. Tickets has been bought. I want to know if my leave is approved or not.
I should’ve asked for approval within 1 week of my submission. Don’t hold it until December’s events and mtgs are made known. And now what? A MEMO happily arrives saying meeting confirmed 9-10 Dec. But wait, why am I being held behind? I’m NOT EVEN attending the meeting. It is by SUT to other SUT. I’m only doing the groundwork. Which was already done and submitted WAY IN AUGUST.
I’ve made these facts known. 1 – Work done. 2 – I have already applied for leave way early. 3 – Tickets are bought.
I’m not sure right now if my leave is approved. I’m actually taking my Mandatory 14 days leave. Flight on 6th. Home on 9th evening. Then I want to go offline – recharge, revitalize, destress.
I just want to be a happier person. And sadly, I can’t seem to be. 
Posted by
lisadragon – November 18, 2009
Teaching pressure is no good if you’re not motivated. Especially when you do stuff like stay until 11pm but you don’t even get “good work!” or understanding if you’re late the next morning. People are NOT robots.
Whatever. Until that day comes, work is just work and sorry to say, i wont put work before “me” time. not motivated to.
Two observations I made this morning on the way to work.
1. The bridge in Subok near SR OKBI Subok is UNDER RENOVATION FOR 1 YEAR?? What is going on there? People on both sides are playing “are you chicken” whenever approaching the bridge. Who stops first is the chicken. And the other side goes ahead gloating. Seriously, it is dangerous there, finish the damn project, its only 2 tiny metres of bridge!!
2. A lamp post in Kg Salar tumbang .. well its 15 degrees off the ground – its not on the ground yet, but hey, made you wonder what happened there. Freak magical battle ala Harry Potter?? 
Hmm, maybe I’m going to Labuan this weekend but not confirmed yet. I’m PMSing and I dont think I’ll enjoy it if I’m cramping =(
Posted by
lisadragon – November 17, 2009
Somehow or other, there’s other things to do and i cant spare the time to blog.
And then, the days just blur into vague memories because there’s too many things to keep track of! I really miss blogging. It releases tension, that I don’t bottle it all up inside (which makes me even more stressed). It chronicles my days and things I do and I can look back one day and see it all again.
Tired. Stressed. I’m sure I’m suffering from chronic depression. I only come to work because I have to. After work is done I have no mood to go out again and face the world. Isn’t that a sign of depression? Sigh.
I have to be a lot of things to a lot of different people that sometimes I wish I have the guts to stop being SO accessible. Hard to find, people dunno what I’m doing, where I am. No phone, no twitter, no facebook. Hmm =) That way I’d have more time to do my own projects..
Or maybe one day I’ll just quit my job and move countries. Believe me, for me that’s not a hard thing to do if I really wanted to.
Posted by
lisadragon – July 21, 2009
I’m so slacking.
Stop slacking already!!
Hmphhh I need a new layout… something pretty and fresh.. hehe
Posted by
lisadragon – July 14, 2009
Sigh, not this feeling again. I’m so tired of all this.
It all comes back full cycle. But I can’t blame everything on it. Partly I should be more hardworking and reduce my backlog.. but I just feel tired lately, I’m not motivated to work harder and finish my backlog.
I wanna take a holiday on my bday so no one can wish me happy birthday and remind me I’m turning 28 and yet still not married? Should I give up my dreams? I give myself pep talks “Come on, you can do it!” .. but what can I do .. hmm?
I understand tho.
And in some ways I dont understand .. or I just dont want to understand because I don’t want to give up my dreams…
I am thinking about life right now.
Where am I. Am I happy. Is this what I want. Wat do I want more.
I wish I had wings so I could fly away to everywhere.. see how people live their lives so I could appreciate mine, fly to the busiest city, to the poorest town, the quiet suburb and hectic metropolis and find another vision, another life, another purpose I can walk towards ….. and leave my dreams behind..
For now, I have to smile with unshed tears in my eyes.